Home > WWE > RAW Reaction 14/03/11(Cena Vs. Del Rio)

RAW Reaction 14/03/11(Cena Vs. Del Rio)

Welcome to the first RAW Reaction, lets get straight to it.

The show cuts straight to The Rock in his home, apparently talking to Barrack Obama(do you smell what Barrack is cooking?) about how bad John Cena’s “Final Knockout” promo was last night. He gets interrupted by Cena’s music and hangs up the phone, talking to Cena off camera. He says it’s Cena’s chance to talk to him like a man. A 10 year old kid decked out in the full Cena garb comes in. The Rock looks at the camera with an eyebrow raise and a scratching record interruptes the music. The kid raps a little, it wasn’t bad. The Rock is being great here, and brings up a chair to talk to “John Cena.” He tells him that Cena took the ball and ran with it when The Rock left, being really patronising. “You ran with your little legs as fast as you could, yes you did.” He then compares Cena’s cultural significance to Kermit the Frog and Barney the Dinosaur. He tells Cena he owns the 2-5 year olds, but the reason he’ll never be as good as The Rock? Cena says sadly “because I’m not talented?” The Rock agrees, this is fantastic. The Rock is happy that the elephant in the room is out of the way and asks Cena how he feels. “IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW YOU FEEL!” This is awesome. Cena starts crying and The Rock says we’re not watching one of his awful films so why cry? He says he doesn’t have any toilet paper, but he has something better. He pulls out another Cena shirt(“Noone cares about this anyway”) and helps Cena wipe his face with it. He then spits on it and throws it away. The Rock has a surprise for Cena, he pulls out a big box of Fruity Pebbles. “Abra Cadabra! Yabba Dabba!” This is amazing, The Rock is now talking to Cena like a 1 year old, it’s cheesy but unlike Cena cheesy it’s actually funny. He lets Cena go off and eat the Fruity Pebbles, throwing in a few insults, then turns his attention to the Miz as “Cena” leaves. He cuts a good serious promo now, addressing Miz and the statements he made last week taking out Cena, running down The Rock, talking trash about his family. Some creepy serious music comes in now and that’s all I can find fault with really, it was a bit over the top. The Rock mentions Miz having the gall to do the People’s Elbow, and promises before Wrestlemania he will be on RAW live, and will take out both The Miz and John Cena. He ends with an “If Ya Smell” and his music plays. This was classic funny Rock here and the serious part was a lot more concise than the last promo he did.

Back in the arena Josh Matthews and Jerry Lawler are at the announce desk and Cole is next to them in a glass box with a desk and a monitor with his face on it. He says it’s his broadcasting palace to ensure no harm comes to him and announces that it’s called the Cole Mine. That’s brilliant. As much as I hate Cole and how much time the Cole/Lawler saga is getting on TV with a 60 year old wrestler and an announcer, ever since Cole went full on heel I’ve been secretly loving him. The Miz comes out and Cole jumps to his feet pumping his feet. “My buddy! My friend! The Miz!”

We get a rundown of the past 3 weeks events with Miz getting the better of Cena every time. Miz starts running down The Rock. He agrees The Rock brings it, he brings out of date catchphrases, he brings bad tatoos, he brings bad movies, he brings empty promises and he brings pointless 20 minute diatribes. He mentions The Rock saying he ran down his famiy, so Miz clarifys that The Rocks father and grandfather were both good, but they were never WWE champion. Which means he’s better than both of them, so he can say what he want. He says The Rock likes to make 6 year olds cry, but when The Rock gets in the ring with The Miz, he’ll make -him- cry. Instead of talking about beating up John Cena, The Miz has actually -done- it, 3 weeks in a row. That was a good line. He says that The Rock doesn’t own John Cena, he does. This is great so far, a few weeks ago Miz was seeming a bit stale, saying the same old shit, but the past two weeks he’s stepped up again. Miz teases The Rock “bringing it” to St. Louis tonight. Miz warns when The Rock does show up he will be overshadowed by the must see WWE champion in the history of the company. Not likely, but he has to say that, right? He says as always he’s awesome.

The GM buzzes in and Lawler goes to the poduim. Cole runs out insisting he should read it, Lawler says “go back to your cage, I think it’s been cleaned out now.” Ok line, like most of Lawlers. He announces two never before seen matches tonight. Cena will take on Alberto Del Rio, and The Miz argues that he’s beaten everyone(which was a real stretch). Lawler says he’s not beaten everyone, and introduces…The Great Khali. Great. Cole calls him the Punjabi Nightmare. Wasn’t it the Punjabi Playboy? Not that I’m complaining, I guess they just stick anything after Punjabi.

The Great Khali Vs. The Miz

Khali dominates in the opening stages and hits the big chop to the head. He picks up Miz and puts him the vice grip. Miz gets to the rope and Alex Riley appears out of nowhere to attack Khali from behind. Khali takes out Riley and hits him with a big double choke bomb. Miz comes back into the ring with a chair and hits Khali all over the body and while he’s on the floor, a total of 15 times. That was cool, usually chair shots in the PG era are always lame because headshots are banned, but Miz made it look brutal. He finishs Khali off with a DDT on the chair. As Miz leaves Khali is stirring in the ring and his back is bleeding, and we can see it oozing out. Don’t know why they cut to that, but I’m glad they did, it made it much more effective. Part of the chair leg was hanging off after the first few shots so I assume it caught him.

Great Khali wins via DQ(I guess? They didn’t mention it.)

(*) – Not really a match, just an effective beatdown for The Miz to gain some more momentum.

Lawler says we should all leave Cena a message on Facebook congratulating him on hitting 5,000,000 fans. Ugh. They hype up Undertaker Vs. Triple H at Wrestlemania. They show the video package Triple H showed on SmackDown! of him brutally beating up people. Like most of WWE’s video packages it was really good. There’s not too much they can do outside of video packages to hype this match without getting physical, which should be left for Wrestlemania. They’ve said all that needs to be said in promos I think, but we’ll see. They’re doing a good job of making it seem like this is the one match that will end the streak.

Snooki, the guest star of RAW, is out back talking to John Morrison. They’re interrupted by Vickie and Dolph Ziggler. Vickie says Snooki thinks she’s so great being on the cover of Rolling Stone, but she was offered the cover of Playboy. Snooki and Morrison laugh, and Snooki says it must’ve been a centerfold to fit her on the page. That was kind of funny but aren’t the fat jokes a bit redundant now Vickie has clearly lost a lot of weight? Whatever. Vickie trys slapping her and Snookie blocks it, slapping her back hard. I guess that’s a good way to get the crowd behind her. Thinking of all the guest hosts and guest stars, Snooki didn’t actually do bad per se.

Daniel Bryan(c) Vs. Sheamus – US Championship

As Sheamus comes down, they plug him making the cover of Muscle & Fitness. I guess this means he’s winning, Vince loves crossovers. They’re still calling him King Sheamus even though he’s ditched the outfit? They go back and forth with some great wrestling with Sheamus getting knocked to the outside. Bryan hits a big suicide dive through the middle rope, that was great. He hits his big front dropkick from the top for a 2 count and Sheamus bails to the outside so we can go to commercial. When we come back Sheamus is dominating after hitting a big backbreaker and clothesline during the break. Josh Matthews says Sheamus’s losing streak may be down to the King of the Ring Curse and that there’s been a lot of talk about it. Has there? Sheamus puts Bryan between the ropes and clubs at his chest repeatedly. He then hits him with a running knee whilst Bryan is still inbetween the ropes. Bryan fights back and Sheamus goes for the big tilt a whirl backbreaker again, but Bryan reverses it into a rollup, that was awesome. He gives Sheamus a back body drop to the outside and Sheamus lands on the outside on his ankle again like last week. The referee begins the count, but Sheamus gets in around 5. Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick out of nowhere as Cole would say, Bryan ducks and locks in the LeBell Lock. Sheamus manages to get to the ropes, has that ever been done before from the LeBell Lock? Sheamus picks up Bryan for the Razor’s Edge(it’s still real to me dammit) and Bryan reverses it with a sunset flip into a pin for a nearfall, the crowd right behind it. They get up and engage in a forearm battle, Bryan getting the upper hand after ducking one. He kicks Sheamus untill he’s on his knees and hits a few on his chest before a final knockout kick to the head. Sheamus kicks out at 2. Bryan goes for the dropkick from the top again and Sheamus catchs him with the Brogue Kick, pinning Bryan for the 3 count. That was a great spot, and we have a new US Champion. I’m kinda surprised.

Sheamus wins via pinfall to win the US Championship

(***) – That was a great little 5-6 minute match, with good action and some nice spots thrown in. We need more matches like this on RAW, preferably with Bryan, he can make anyone look good.

Air Bryan...Best in the world...

Sheamus celebrates on the outside getting in the face of the announcers. He didn’t show this much passion when he won the WWE championship the first time. I hope Bryan invokes his rematch clause at Wrestlemania and they get a bit more time, is that really too much to ask?

Cole stands up in his glass box and announces he has a guest to interview, that will show everyone what Lawler is really about. Back from the break and Cole is in the ring. He gaurantees that Stone Cold Steve Austin, the special referee for Wrestlemania, will have a minimal effect on the match. Cole says he knows how defensive Lawler gets when people talk about his family, whether living…or dead. That was harsh. Didn’t really garner any more heat either, so pointless. Cole introduces the biological son of Lawler, Brian Christopher. Holy Shit! Billed as Brian Christopher “Grand Master Sexay”, the fruit of Kings loins comes out to zero reaction. Brutal. He’s dancing around to the Too Cool music. The only good thing about this was Cole in the ring dancing along to it with a goofy grin on his face. He looks chubby and out of shape. He actually looks a bit like Robin Williams for some thing. Cole says he was never announced as the son of the King, and Brian says he never felt like he had a father. The King went off travelling and wrestling, he neglected his son. Brian says that Lawler never wanted a child, and gets out of the ring to face him. He says Lawler didn’t want anyone or anything to get in his spotlight, and when Brian came to the WWE, Lawler refused to acknowledge he was his son. Lawler says he doesn’t know what to say, but then goes straight to the big guns and says he’s a bigger screw up than Charlie Sheen. How relevant. Brian brags that he wrestled at Wrestlemania before his dad. He gets in Lawlers face and asks him how that made him feel. He hits Lawler in the face, but the King doesn’t do anything. Grand Master Sexay pushs his head again and even thrusts him with his pelvis for some reason, saying “you’re just gonna sit there, aren’t ya, Daddy?” The crowd starts chanting “Jerry! Jerry!” Anyone else find that ironic? Given that most of these promos wouldn’t be out of place on the Springer show. Brian finally says that he didn’t want to use the Lawler name, because he was ashamed of him. Cole is loving it in the ring, and Brian leaves.

Cole runs Lawler down some more about not caring about anyone but himself. J.R’s music hits, Holy Shit! Again! But more of a reaction this time as good ole J.R comes down. It’s great to see Jim Ross back. Cole goes into super heel mode on J.R. “The BBQ business a bit slow J.R? Or Twitter?” J.R says this has all gone far enough. Cole draws some mega heat ranting that he’s the voice of the WWE now, not Jim Ross. Ross gets a cheap pop saying that the true voices of the WWE are the fans. He then says that Lawler has been like a mother Kangeroo, carrying Cole around in his pouch protecting him. But Cole isn’t like a baby Kangeroo, he is in fact like…a rat bastard. That was great! I don’t know why we’re getting actual swear words in this PG climate but I’m loving it. The line wasn’t even amazing, but due to the sheer absence of even “ass” in the past couple of years, this was just refreshing. J.R goes to leave and Cole basically calls him a coward. Ross comes back in and takes off his signature cowboy hat. He then removes his jacket and tie, motioning for Cole to, for want of a better phrase, “Bring It.” Cole takes off his jacket and in the background Jack Swagger is at the announce desk beating down Lawler. Swagger gets in the ring and his Ross’s face. Swagger kicks him in the gut and pushs him to the ground, locking in a standing ankle lock. This looked like it hurt, very effective. Cole gets down on the mat in J.R’s face: “How does that feel J.R? How does that feel J.R?” King recovers and gets into the ring, knocking Swagger off. Cole jumps onto him from behind, and Swagger gets the ankle lock on. He lets go and both King and J.R are down. Swagger motions for Cole to put the ankle lock on J.R. He locks it in and it wasn’t bad. Cole talks trash to them both and Swagger raises his hand, huge heat. Very interesting segment that had a lot of different things going on and didn’t get boring.

Randy Orton Vs. Mason Ryan

Over an hour in and we’ve had less than 8 minutes wrestling. Typical really, should I have expected anything more? Is this the first official match Ryan has had? I’m not sure. He’s wearing white pants and looks more Batistwo like than ever. After an early advantage from Orton, Ryan finds a way in with a big boot and a series of ok backbreakers. He locks in a typical big man move, the bearhug. Orton fights out quickly but it doesn’t last for long as Ryan hits a side effect. Ohhh yeahhhh. Ryan slowly picks up Orton looking confident and Orton hits the RKO. Out of nowhere! As far as out of nowhere RKOs go, it wasn’t bad. So now all the members of the New Nexus are barred from ringside at Wrestlemania. CM Punk, who was watching the whole match from the tron, stares at Orton, who gets out of the ring and heads towards him. He then looks back at Ryan struggling to get up in the ring. Punk’s expression turns frantic and he motions for Orton to come to him instead. Orton runs back to the ring with Punk running after him. He gets in and quickly punts Mason Ryan in the head. The crowd loves it and Punk slides in the ring just in time for Orton to turn around and do his punching the ground taunt, getting right in Punk’s face. They stare each other down, this was a great moment. Punk backs down and slowly slides out of the ring. After the replay a stretcher is brought out for Ryan.

Randy Ortin wins via pinfall

(*) – Not much of a match, again. Ryan didn’t seem that great in the ring so I assume he’s been sent his marching orders back to developmental. Effective promo more than a match. A slow burner for this feud, I’m really enjoying it.

The next inductee into the Hall of Fame this year is announced and its…Drew Carey. What? Sorry…what? Drew Carey. Right. Drew Carey. Hmmm. So, a guy who appeared in the WWE ONE TIME ONLY. Who probably had a total of about 10 minutes screentime EVER, is now in the Hall of Fame? They may aswell have put Bob Barker in as a celebrity inductee, his guest host spot was actually good. While we’re at it lets throw in Verne Troyer, or Ozzy Osbourne(he actually appeared at Wrestlemania 2). Why not the guys from Jackass? They were on RAW once. Hell, put Cheech and Chong in, or even Kim fucking Kardashian. I don’t really understand. The Hall of Fame is just a mix of absolulte legends and absolute jokes. I shouldn’t care. They show a video package that really stretchs out his one appearance ever, that was kinda cool at best. A pointless PR move, what other Hall of Fame inductees have a video pakcage that in part promotes their new shows? Pfft.

Cole spouts some crap from the Cole Mine and is soon cut off. Trish and Snooki head to the ring. Snookie is announced as a New York Times best selling author. Awful. She’s actually about 1 inch taller than the turnbuckle. She says she’s been looking forward to being the guest star all week and can’t wait to see Trish shut Vickie’s fat mouth up, and that’s it. Fair play, she didn’t milk it like most other guest stars.

Vickie Guerrero Vs. Trish Stratus – No Disqualifications

Who thought we’d ever see this match? Vickie runs down Snooki, showing her cover of Rolling Stone then a photoshopped version with Vickie on it instead. Vickie’s a great heel but I’m getting bored of her promo already. Trish comes out, mercifully. Vickie starts excercising in the ring. Trish tries a quick rollup. Vickie tries a kick but Trish blocks it and piefaces her down. Vickie’s show comes off and she starts brandishing it like a fencing sword. Trish pushs her down and stands on the back of her neck. She picks up the shoe and beats Vickie in the ass with it. How else was this gonna go I guess? Dolph comes down and stops Trish from inflicting any more damage. Morrison comes down and punchs Ziggler, who rolls out of the ring. Morrison dives over the top rope with a 360 spin splash, that was ridiculous. Laycool come down and Trish fends them off for a while before Layla grabs her foot and Michelle kicks Trish in the face. Vickie pins Trish and Laycool sit on top. They take pictures of each other lying over Trish, and roll her out of the ring. Now that Vickie has won, she now has a job on RAW. Ugh, great. They celebrate in the ring and Laycool take the piss out of Snooki who’s sitting at ringside. There’s actually a “Snooki” chant. Wow. Michelle gets into her face and pushs her back into her chair. As she goes to get back in the ring, Snooki pulls her feet out, sending her face first into the apron. The crowd pops for it and she then gets in the ring, hitting a Lou Thesz on Layla. Trish comes back and hits one of her own on Michelle. There’s a lot of screaming and hair pulling going on. Vickie gets on the mic on the ramp and challenges Trish, Snooki and Morrison to a match at Wrestlemania against Dolph and Laycool. Snooki accepts. Mental. Cole says “it’s gonna be Snookimania!” and I want to throw up.

Vickie Guerrero wins via pinfall

(*) – Dud of a match, Morrison’s plancha saved it from being a complete disaster. It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve seen though. The match will probably be good at Mania but I wish Morrison had a proper match.

We get a third video package from Shawn Michaels this time talking about the strengths of The Undertaker. Another great package, though they showed the crowd during it as it played on the tron, and noone really seemed interested.

Alberto Del Rio w/ Brodus Clay Vs. John Cena

We get the typical entrance of Del Rio with his ring announcer and entrance in an expensive car. Cena comes out and I’m wondering if this is going to be much of a match. They start off typically and Cena does a massive leapfrog and a big dropkick. That was impressive. From anyone, not so much, but from Cena, anything is impressive when done properly. Cole announces that The Rock is there tonight. Cena fights out of a headlock as a huge “Lets go Cena! Cena Sucks!” chant begins. It’s been a few minutes and already they’re slugging it out with punches like its been an epic main event. Cena fights harder and hits the 2 shoulder blocks and sloppy blue thunder, which Del Rio took like a dream. Cena hits the gay knuckle shuffle and Brodus Clay hesitates on the outside. Cena picks up Del Rio for the AA and Brodus Clay interferes. As they beat down Cena The Rock’s music hits and the crowd goes nuts as he walks out onto the ramp. It’s The Miz dressed as The Rock, with bald cap and spray tan. It looks so convincing from a far and he’s got the mannerisms down to a tee. Noone realised for quite a while and during a crowd shot a girl screams “Oh My GOD!” Hahaha, this is actually amazing. Miz takes off the glasses and struts to the ring, it looks so good. He gets in the ring and crouchs ready to hit a Rock Bottom on Cena. Miz truly is awesome. Brodus Clay hits a sketchy t-bone suplex on Cena sending him rolling out of the ring. Miz rips off his bald cap and Cole says it’s the greatest thing he’s ever seen.

Do you smell what The Miz is cooking?

Cena wins via disqualification

(*) – Yet another DQ ending. Boring. The aftermath was amazing though. Miz gets on the mic, his smile now gone, and tells Cena he’s owned him for 3 weeks, and will continue to do so untill Wrestlemania. He hits Cena with the mic. He takes of the “I Bring It” shirt and suplexes Cena on the entrance ramp. I kinda like how the spotlight is on Cena as he lays on the ramp, but he quickly fires up, SuperCena style and picks up Miz for an AA on the ramp. Miz fights out, drops down and hits a DDT on the ramp. He then throws Cena into the big WWE prop and hits the Skull Crushing Finale onto it. It was ok. He then lies across the steel staring at Cena with a grin, this looks so gay. He says he owns him, and stands over his body as the show ends.

7/10 – It was a strong show for what it was, and what it was was promo heavy. We had a great promo from the WWE champ, a hilarious promo from The Rock and an effective promo involving many people to further the Lawler/Cole match. Everything was built nicely, we got some nice video packages, but where’s the wrestling?! Thankfully we got a great TV match between Sheamus and Daniel Bryan, but thats about it. It’s Wrestlemania season, there’s gonna be a lot of talking but still, not enough. Without The Rock’s promo and Miz’s showstealing antics, it would’ve been a 4-5 out of 10 easily.

Thanks for reading, if you’ve got the time leave a comment below and let me know what you thought. Personally I think I could tighten these up a bit, but any feedback is welcomed, cheers.

RR.

  1. Mark
    March 15, 2011 at 9:09 PM

    Totally agreed with a lot of this Luke, I’ve been loving the build up for mania this year even if the shows have been promo heavy and almost matchless. Just hoping Bryan and Sheamus make it to the mania card.

    • March 15, 2011 at 11:49 PM

      Cheers buddy, yeah it’s to be expected around Mania time, and it’d be nothing short of retarded if Bryan and Sheamus weren’t on the show when fucking SNOOKI is lmao

  2. March 16, 2011 at 2:42 AM

    If they don’t book Bryan vs. Sheamus in a lengthy pickup match in the midcard of Mania to actually put some decent action into it, they’re dumbdumbs (to quote Punk on Twitter). Faeces.

  3. March 16, 2011 at 3:03 AM

    It’ll probably only be about 8 minutes I’m guessing, I hope I’m wrong. Give em 15 and I’m that confident I’d say it could steal the show.

  1. March 22, 2011 at 2:52 PM
  2. March 25, 2011 at 8:19 PM

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: